The Single Mom & The Son that Wants to Live with Dad

The Single Mom & The Son that Wants to Live with Dad

Could you help?  I got this heartbreaking email from a fellow single mom and I knew it was going to be tough one by the first line:  “My Mommy’s heart was broken yesterday…”

It’s your worst fear.  How do you face fear in the face and “get your brave on” when your son decides he wants to live with his Dad? Terri has allowed me to share her story in hopes of getting YOUR advice.  She also shares some GREAT tips on relating to your teenage son.  I know there are some of you who have been through this.  Could you please offer your encouragement and sage advice?

THE SITUATION

“My mommy’ s heart was broken yesterday. My boys were at their father’s for Thanksgiving. I get a text from my middle saying he’s going to stay at dads. My oldest did this during spring break, also by text. I don’t even get to see them for visitation weekends. They are just gone from my life. I can’t stop crying. They are 16 and 15. Dad left when they were 3 and 2 and sees them every other weekend when it worked in his schedule. Now that the boys are older, he is their buddy. My youngest is 12 and he came home. However his dad informed him that he’s old enough now to choose where he wants to live. I know God heals the broken hearted. He’s been by me through all of this. I just so badly want my boys back. I miss them beyond belief. My heart literally aches while the tears continue to fall.”

MY RESPONSE

“I am so very sorry. I feel your pain and although I haven’t yet experienced it, I fear it is coming.  I wish I had something specific to say to make it all better. I do not. It’s true your boys need their father, they also will always need you. Parenting doesn’t stop, ever!  This age they might be relating more to dad, but they will always need you. At 20 when they are in college and are freaking out about a test. At 30 when they are having children and don’t have a clue how to change a diaper, at 40 when they are working to balance it all and looking back and admiring you. You never stop being there mother. Maybe just don’t give up. Maybe join them in what they like. Maybe it’s shooting baskets with them, maybe it’s going to the batting cages, maybe playing a video game. Invite them on dates with you?

I remember pulling away from my dad as a teenager and I regret it. The thing he did that was the best is he never stopped pursuing a relationship with me. He kept calling even when I didn’t call back. He kept visiting even when I would bail for my friends. Now, he’s my rock. Hang in there my friend. Saying a prayer right now for your strength.

Would you mind if I shared this story on my single mom blog? We might get even more advice from other moms who have been through this.”

❤️ ac

TERRI’S GREAT ADVICE

“Thank you for the encouragement. It has helped me today. Please share this on your blog as I would appreciate hearing from other moms who have been through this. Maybe in turn it could encourage another mom who feels alone in this place.

I’ve been the one to shoot baskets with them, soft toss a gazillion baseballs to be hit into the Bow Net, and have succumbed to playing video games. I never thought I’d be a gamer, but discovered when communication was difficult when they were at dads, the video game systems have headsets you can talk through while playing the games. That became our talk times while away from each other. I don’t often let people know I’m a prestige master level 274 on COD Black Ops III.

Bless you for all that you do for single moms.”
❤️Terri

YOUR TURN

A single woman is strong because of the tribe that backs her up! So lets go tribe!  Let’s encourage Terri! I can’t wait to read your great advice. Please comment below.

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