The Single Mom & Unfailing Love. Are you ready to date?

The Single Mom & Unfailing Love. Are you ready to date?

I’m sorry love failed you.  Well, at least one kind of love. I’m sorry the love of your partner that you had children with failed.  I know that indescribable pain.  It’s a death of what you thought your life would be like.  It’s something to mourn.

First, I want you to know it’s okay to not be okay for a while.  Your friends and family might want you to bounce back right away and say silly things like, “there’s plenty of fish in the sea!” or “get on Tinder!” But, another relationship quickly is not going to fix things, it’s going to make things a lot worse.

What will fix this is knowing that you aren’t a failure. What will fix this is learning to love and care for yourself, first. I want you to know that there is someone in your life that doesn’t base his opinion on you based on how well you get along with him, how compatible you are, or what you look like.

I find ultimate comfort in this promise from God:

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my UNFAILING love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. -Isaiah 54:10

So, if the Lord has compassion on you, then why don’t you give yourself a big dose of compassion too. The words “unfailing love” are mentioned 32 times in the NIV translation of the bible.  32 times.  More than enough for one every single day of the month to read a new verse about how God’s love never ends.

The word, “unfailing” is defined “without error or fault, reliable, and consistent.” I don’t know about you but those words are the deepest longing of my single mom life.  Oh how I long for consistency, a reliable car, and a partner that loves without finding fault or error.

I have struggled in the dating world. It’s one thing to find love for me, it’s another to find someone who is fully accepting of my three busy Sunshines full time in my home. When I mention I have full custody of 3 children it’s the biggest factor for men to want to run for the hills. I get it.  I don’t blame them.  It’s not for everyone.  I appreciate their honesty, but I admit to you it hurts and cracks little pieces off my heart that I’m afraid I will never get back.

I’ve heard from men I have dated…
“I can’t be what you need.”
“I’m not the man for you.”
“I can’t be that guy.”
“I’m not willing to blend families.”

Again, I appreciate the honesty. I’m grateful not to be in a situation that my kids aren’t fully loved and accepted. That’s why I feel so strongly of sharing with you my cautionary tale.  Please wait.  Please do not jump into a relationship that you want.  Wait for the one that wants your whole glorious family.  He must love Mama and Her Sunshines completely.

How do you know you are ready to date again? Here’s a good rule.  If you are swiping right and get a match, and receive a little confidence boost and think, “yeah I still got it.” You’re not ready.  You need to be so confident in your own skin that you don’t care who approves and rejects you. It doesn’t phase you one bit, and it doesn’t change the way you feel about yourself.  When you swipe right on the hottest guy holding the cutest puppy you’ve ever seen online and don’t get a match, and think, “that’s his loss.” Then you are ready.

What I want you to know now is you already have that person that loves “Mama and the Sunshines”. God’s love for you is without error or fault, reliable, and consistent.  If you think you have messed up too much this time for God to love you, my friend you are not that powerful. Make Him your partner first, heal, then cast your reel for a partner on earth.

Love,

ac

If you’d like say this prayer:

“Father, thank you for your UNFAILING love. Thank you that you have not left me. You will never abandon me. Help me to be confident in your love every single moment.  Help me to have compassion on others that may have hurt me, and most of all compassion on myself.” – In Jesus’ name, Amen

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